Sunday, February 12, 2006

Kamote's Big Yak Adventure

Today, I did a surf launch of my yak at Malibu.

With the help of a push from Odawg, Gordo and Kelp Fisher, I launched into the waves, paddled hard and fast, which avoided having the oncoming surf from crashing onto my yak.

After I cleared the surf, I looked back and started to wave to the guys. Suddenly, a worm hole appeared right in front of me and time slowed to a virtual stop. Or at least, that's how I remember the slow motion listing of the yak just before it tipped over.

Once in the water, my first thought was how I would fare in the cold water. Just as planned, the dry top and the splash pants insulated me properly. My hands were freezing, but my butt was warm. Nice. HOWEVER, I began to notice that my paddle was not connected to my yak, and it was making its way to deeper water. At this same time, another worm hole appeared giving me a temporary ability to see in 3 dimensions.

1st dimension - I see that my paddle is making its way to hawaii
2nd dimension - I also see that the yak is trying to get back to the beach
3rd dimension - I notice my car keys are drifting to yet another direction.

Overwhelmed by the visual, auditory and climatic inputs to my senses, I think to myself, I am so fucked. After a short double take of my triple predicament, I made a decision to go for the paddle. I got it in about 2 minutes. Then I did my best impression of Mark Spitz and went for the yak, which at this point was already drifting. Got it! I quickly secured the paddle with the leash. Hmmmm, is that my heart I hear. I think I'm having a heart attack. No time for that though, I gotta go back and get my car keys. I read some stuff about deep water kayak entry in one of my books. 1-2-3, I'm in. Yeah. Quickly, I paddled my way to the clear canister that contained my car keys. Got it.

I then proceeded to survey my situation. As it appears, the safety pop off connector on my car key container, that prevents entanglement, had popped when I hit the water. Bad idea. I tied it securely to the yak. Apparently, after the surf launch, I failed to re-secure my paddle to its leash. Brain fart. Hey, look at the nice fishies boiling just to my left, KERSPLASH! I fell off the yak again.

In the water. Ok. Deep water entry, 1-2-3. Hmmm, it seems my arms have lost there ability to lift my weight. Ok, I will sit here until they do. I waited maybe 5 minutes, I don’t know. There's a worm hole, remember.

Back on the yak, I made a beeline for the shore. BAM, I hit the sand, I fall of the yak like a wet rag, I am exhausted. I forced myself to pull the yak up off the shoreline and sat beside my mango colored nightmare. At this point, I was falling in and out of consciousness, but I hear faintly, a voice, "I'll give you $ 200.00 for the yak". Its Kelp Fisher walking up the beach.

And thus ended my nightmare.

p.s. I launched the yak a second time that day, sans the cooler/bait well contraption. No problemo. Cruised up and down the shoreline for about 30 minutes and did a surf landing. Next week, I'll be back. /bing